Once upon a time in the
1980's, which is how all great stories begin of course, there was a
silly b-grade movie made called Miami Connection. First off,
producer and star Y.K. Kim had trouble even distributing it and when
he finally found a small distributor to do the job, the film flopped
and he nearly went bankrupt. Since then it only had the tiniest of
cult followings. In 2009 that all changed when someone made a blind
eBay bid on the 35mm print for $50, only to win. When he watched
what movie he got, he contacted the program director at Drafthouse
Films, who wanted to re-release the film. At first Y.K. Kim thought
they were joking and ignored their calls, but apparently after much
persuasion he gave them the rights to distribute and Miami
Connection was rediscovered. Only now, the world was ready for
it.
It follows a whole
group of friends with such creative names like Jim, Jack, John and...
Mark (Oh, hi Mark!) who are all students at a local Miami university
as well as synth-rockers by night, who have just started playing gigs
as a night club. But they're not just any synth-rockers... they also
know Tae Kwon Do. They get on the bad side of a few local gangs, who
join forces to try and kill the band through a series of battles
where the bad guys take on the good guys one at a time... because you
know, if they all attacked at once there would be no sport in that
and the movie wouldn't be very long. Oh yeah, and there is something
about a cocaine smuggling operation and a group of ninjas who are
somehow affiliated with these gangs. Also, did you know that violence
is bad?
So, first, let's
discuss why this movie flopped in the 80's. Nowadays, b-movie fans
watch this and wonder how anyone could not love it. But part of the
charm of the movie now is the retro flare, complete with curly
mullets, big moustaches, and neon clothing. Even in the better films
of that decade, those things stand out as kind of funny to us, but at
the time it was all common place and didn't even register to the
public as something ridiculous. The 80's was already kind of a joke,
so when Miami Connection came out and was also a joke, the
public wasn't in on it. It would be too much like laughing at
themselves, which not everyone can do. The two featured songs
“Friends” and “Against the Ninja” were not outstanding enough
to be anything more than fairly bad rock songs, where now they are
almost an embodiment of a cheesy genre that's since been put out to
pasture. There was no way that this movie would work for people back
then. And for those reasons, there is no way it wouldn't work for a
modern audience. It had to have been made then in order for it to be
a hit now. Such a bizarre and unique set of circumstances made it
what it is today, but it's a very bizarre and unique film.
It's a very precarious
line that Miami Connection balances on. Often with b-grade
movies, you have to get through a lot of boring and uneventful
material to reach a few entertaining portions. To some those parts
are worth the wait, to others, not so much. Miami Connection
is truly something special, being more entertaining than not the
majority of the time. And it's not that it's a good movie, because
it's not. It is remarkable that it is incompetent on as many levels
as it is. Director Richard Park and Y.K. Kim prove time and time
again that they have no idea how to make a movie. But they do get all
of the right things wrong for it to be entertaining. For example, all
though the movie it is really poorly edited. Scenes just kind of jump
ship before they're finished and jarringly jump into another scene.
There are enough of these that it's hilarious and becomes a joke in
and of itself. In fact, it could work in an alternate cut if there
were transitions between the scenes just like the 1960's Batman
show or the original Transformers cartoon. Trust me, I can see
it right now.
Some who compare it
with other so-bad-it's-good movies such as The Room, Tommy
Wiseau's 2003 mess of a film, should know that this beats many of its
peers. Funny as it was, I wouldn't be able to stand watching The
Room from start to finish by myself and it really feels like an
overly expensive ego trip for Wiseau. Miami Connection feels
more honest and pure hearted. God bless them, they were trying and
wanted to create a movie that would unite a generation. Foolish as
the film is, they at least had a concept of what people wanted to see
when going to the movies. Motorcycles? Ninjas? Rock shows? Hell yes
please! It's got the right ingredients, but it's like a toddler was
the head chef... though somehow the stew still came out delicious.
It's a little thinner than it should be and you don't know what every
lump is, but still tastes good to the tongue.
By the way, Y.K. Kim
can't act at all. He can fight, and the footage slows down to let us
know, as if we could miss it, but you can hardly understand a word
he's saying. Not only that, but even if you get past the way he
talks, he can't even pretend to play the guitar. For a movie about a
bunch of college kids in a band, they sure didn't study much about
how to play their instruments. Only a couple of them actually can
play as the two main songs were written in part by two of the actors,
including Mr. Mullet and Moustache himself Angelo Janotti. Most of
the other actors are okay at their best and hilarious at their worst.
It's a miracle that
this movie came back to see the light of day, but I am grateful that
it has. It might be the best time I'll have in theatres this year.
Yes, it's a bad movie, but it is also an amazing one. It's
unfathomable how well it defies logic and comprehension but still
keeps the audience involved, though I suppose it's in an ironic sort
of way. I don't know, what's charming about it is that it didn't feel
like I was laughing at the movie, but I was laughing with it. I don't
know how that works because it's very clear that everyone involved
had no idea that they were making a bad movie, but I suppose it's
like having an awkward friend who says stupid things at inconvenient
times, but you really respect him anyway and want to keep him around.
Perhaps I'm getting lost in the metaphor.
Miami Connection
flopped in the 80's because the world wasn't ready for it. I can
safely say that we're ready now and it's time that the film got the
credit and love that it deserves... like a crazy brother that you
didn't know you had that's been locked in the looney bin for 25
years. There I go with those metaphors again...
5 Stars
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